Spontaneous Soliloquies

Retail Marketing Mystery

2009-11-15T15:20:00.004-05:00

Maybe I didn't pay enough attention in my marketing classes when I was in university, so that's why I'm having trouble understanding what happened a couple of days ago. Let's hope that my marketing and retailing expert friends can help me.

So we walked into a pretty well-known clothing retailer the other day after receiving a coupon promising a 35% discount on all items at their regular price. The cool thing about it is that it also entitles the holder to a 20% discount on all items that are already on sale. Not a terrible deal at all, don't you agree?

So after picking and trying on some articles of clothing, we get to the cash and present the coupon. The prices were already lowered on those items, so we thought that we would get the 20% off instead of the 35%. Fair enough.

The lady at the cash then says that the items we picked weren't at regular price so the 35% off wouldn't be applied. Fine, that's what we expected. However, the cashier then tells us that she can't give us the 20% off either. It turns out that the items weren't on sale. Instead, they were "on promotion". So they couldn't combine the offer with already existing promotions.

We ended up paying anyway because we needed the items. That and the "promotional price" wasn't terrible to begin with.

I'm actually more confused than annoyed. The question I'd like to throw out there to the experts is this: What's the difference between any retail item that's on sale and one that's on promotion? I was under the impression from previous experience with other clothing stores that they were the same thing.

Any ideas?

How to Profit from Public Panic during the Holiday Season

2009-11-06T13:01:00.006-05:00

If I were an investor who had an extra couple of hundred thousand dollars and wanted to make some quick money by the end of Q4 2009 and even Q1 2010, I would immediately invest most of that money in three companies: Johnson & Johnson, Novartis and GlaxoSmithKline.

You don't have to be a genius to figure it out. These companies are the main producers of the two most sought-out commodities for holiday season. It's not a new gadget, computer or a new Apple product. It's not a new toy either.

Massive amounts have already been sold in the case of one product and I'm sure it will continue throughout the winter season. As for the second commodity, people are lining up for it all over the developed world. Even governments are getting heat for not making it easier for the general public to get it.

The two commodities are of course hand sanitizers (specifically Johnson & Johnson's Purell) and Novartis and GSK are the main producers of the H1N1 vaccine. With the Avian Flu and SARS out of the way, Swine Flu is now the "fashionable" disease to have and be afraid of. With one sensational media story after another, we now have a huge demand for both hand sanitizers and the vaccine. People are afraid thinking that they're going to just drop dead after each sneeze, cough and headache.

Just walk into any office building, public space, airport, etc., and you'll see a sanitizer dispenser at almost every corner. Not to mention the amount that's being sold in pharmacies. As for the vaccine, can you think of the amount of money governments have spent? And when we turn on the news, we still hear people complaining that there isn't enough.

So for the companies producing these commodities, congratulations. If I had the cash, I would buy some of your stock right now. The current boost in your sales, fueled by public panic, free PR, extensive media coverage and relatively little marketing spending, should last at least until flu season is finished, which is great news for your share price.

Now if only I had some extra cash to invest with...

Metro Escalator Etiquette

2009-11-04T21:17:00.004-05:00

So as I was getting out of the metro on the way home, I overheard a mini argument between two strangers. Basically, one woman was standing on the left side and talking to her boyfriend on the right side. I stood on the right when this other girl in a rush came up from behind. She was pissed off because the other girl was blocking her way.

So the argument breaks out about how the first girl should stand on one side to let other people who were walking up the escalator. Apparently, these are the unwritten rule of "fast and slow lanes" on an escalator.

The reply was that the metro escalator is for people who are tired after a long day of work. Especially the escalator going up. So you should be able to stand there and let the machine move you up. If you want to run up the steps, you should use the stairs.

The argument pretty much ended once everyone got to the top of the escalator.

So which side do you agree with?

Signs of Aging

2009-11-02T13:14:00.014-05:00

Guys, we all eventually go through this. There are of the physical symptoms, but there are other things that you suddenly notice. You know you're getting old when:

Instead of looking for another place to continue the party at 3am when the club lights come on, you're more likely to get sleepy and pass out on the couch at 11:30pm
Instead of ogling / drooling over the half-dressed women "bouncing around" in bars and clubs, you just end up laughing at their constant calls for attention
After laughing at them, you hesitate to hit on the half-dressed women in the clubs because for some reason, most of them look underage
You tend to feel sorry for the other guys chasing these half-dressed, attention-starved women
Instead of being a blur, you have more and more vivid memories of what you did this past Friday AND Saturday night
Although cheap beer by the pitcher is still adequate, you have more of a desire to get drunk off high quality booze
You think that almost all new music should be flushed down the toilet
You actually start caring about being good at your day job
You actually start thinking that coming to work with a hang over and 3 hours of sleep is not necessarily a good idea

Any other symptoms from the guys out there?

Are you the "Less Attractive" friend? - A bus ride home story

2009-09-13T01:49:00.009-04:00

Ladies, I'm going to let you in on a little secret (well, maybe you know this already). If you've ever gone out to a club or a bar for a girls' night, I'm sorry to say that if a group of guys start hitting on you, well, they don't like ALL of you.

Usually, the guys are hitting on the "hot ones" (maybe one or two in your group). The other guys are just wing-men who are "taking one for the team" by pretending to like the less attractive ones and flirting with them. Now the question is, which one are you in the group? If you are the "less attractive" one, I hope the incident that I'm about to describe doesn't happen to you.

In the bus on way home, there was a couple of scantily-clad women. I guess they were on their way to a party or something It was pretty obvious which one was the "hot one" and which one wasn't. There was also a pretty drunk guy there obviously admiring the sight. So the drunk guy decides that he has enough confidence to start flirting with the girls as we approach the metro station.

I didn't quite hear what he said, but I guess he offended them. The "less attractive" starts telling him off saying in French: "On n'est pas des salopes! On va pas coucher avec toi!" ("We're not sluts! We won't sleep with you!")

The guy's response in English was priceless: "I wasn't talking to you. You're the ugly one. I was talking to your friend."

I tried really hard not to burst out laughing until I got out of the bus. I mean, judging from the way that the guy kept on dropping his bottle, he was pretty wasted. And yet the beer goggles definitely didn't work when it came to that girl. Ouch.

Wet and Naked

2009-08-23T22:06:00.004-04:00

What is it about being wet and naked that can help make a person feel amazing? Naked wetness just seems to be the best solution for a rough day at work, for tiredness after traveling in a cramped space for a long time, for a long sleepless night or whether you just need to relax after doing something physically or mentally taxing.

Of course, I'm talking about taking a shower or a bath after doing any or all of the stuff I described above. (What were you thinking of?) I was just wondering why that is, I guess (hygienic reasons aside).

Fantasia 2009 Reviews - Week 2

2009-07-17T10:37:00.003-04:00

Continuing the celebration of 100 years of Hong Kong cinema, the Fantasia festival has given us a treat by screening two Hong Kong flicks this week: Legendary Assassin and The Warlords.

Legendary Assassin:
The movie was ok. Not amazing, but definitely not terrible. The bone-crunching, high-flying fight sequences were fun to watch, especially the "little guy vs. big guy" fight at the beginning. Well, that and the "1 vs. 100" fight in the pouring rain at the end.

Unfortunately, the "love story" kinda dragged it down a bit. It kinda took away from the badass-ery of the main character.

The Warlords:
After the release of "Fearless" in 2006, Jet Li said that he would stop making "martial arts epics". I guess he lied with "The Warlords" being released in 2007. You couldn't get more epic than this.

Starring three of the biggest names in Asian/Hong Kong cinema in Jet Li, Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro, you get some excellent acting, great battle scenes along with some additional drama and intrigue.

Special kudos to Jet Li for showing his acting chops playing a general who is forced to make some tough decisions for what he thinks is the "greater good".

That's it for this week. Next week, I'll be reviewing another Hong Kong film showcasing a great female fighter and a weird Japanese rom-com (mind you, what Japanese movie in Fantasia ISN'T weird?).

Fantasia 2009 Reviews - Week 1

2009-07-12T03:02:00.003-04:00

Whether it was watching Koreans get drunk on soju, seeing an awesome kung fu bio-pic on Bruce Lee's wing chun teacher or being terrorized by WWII German zombie soldiers, the first week of Fantasia has been more than entertaining. Here are few brief reviews of the movies I saw this week.

Daytime Drinking:
Definitely a funny, one-man road-trip movie. The movie starts off a bit slow, but the laughs gradually build as the amount of alcohol consumed increases and the characters that we're introduced to get weirder and weirder. All this goes on throughout the movie without going over the top.

That and you're definitely going to learn a lot about Korean drinking culture. Gun Bae!

Dead Snow:
The lesson of this film? If you plan on going out on a cabin in the snowy mountains with your friends, make sure not to piss off any Nazi zombies by taking their stolen gold. Yeah, that's right.

A small army of undead German soldiers from WWII terrorize a group of young med students on their Easter vacation. The director moves a bit away from the zombie norm by making these zombies fast, organized and intelligent fighters. Real zombie soldiers.

The suspense and cheap/false scares are pretty well built up before the zombies are shown. But when they finally do appear on-screen, the blood and guts literally fly on the snow-capped Norwegian mountains.

A definite crowd-pleaser at the Fantasia Festival, I would recommend this to any zombie movie fan.

Ip Man:
Movies like Ip Man are the reason why I come back to the Fantasia Festival year in and year out. Similar to "Fighter in the Wind" and "Fearless", this is a semi-biopic of a real martial arts master.

Starring Donnie Yen as the Ip Man, better known as the man who first taught Bruce Lee wing chun, the movie focuses on his early life during the Japanese occupation in the late 1930s to early 1940s. The fight scenes, choreographed by the amazing Sammo Hung, are just works of art. Donnie Yen's hand speed is unreal. You'd have to see this to understand what I mean.

The only problem I have with these kind of movies is that it does tend to get a bit nationalistic. That aside, no self-respecting kung fu movie fan should miss this gem.

That's it for this week. Next week, I'll talk about yet another Hong Kong martial arts action film and an epic war movie loosely based on real events in 19th century China.

Militaristic Karate Tradition

2009-06-26T15:00:00.001-04:00

When the average person hears the term "martial art", the first images that come to mind are either the over-the-top fight scenes that they see in the movies or cage fights due to the rising popularity of MMA. We sometimes forget the "martial" part of it. These arts were created and developed for killing and many of the militaristic rituals and practices can still be observed when you walk into a "traditional" martial arts school.

This is especially true in the case of Shotokan karate. The best example is the pre- and post-training lineup. Students and practitioners are made to line up according to rank with the lowest on one side of the room and the highest on the other.

But there's more to this. Most karateka will notice that the way people line up may vary depending on the dojo that they go to. In some schools, the highest ranking student is on the left side of the room. In others, they're on the right side. Again, the reason has to do with a military way of thinking.

The idea is that students have to line up according to the dojo's main entrance door. Normally, the beginners line up closest to the door and the higher levels and even assistant instructors are furthest away. There are two reasons for this:

1) In case of challenge from another school
The challenger will be forced to go tire himself out by having to fight off the "weaker" students first. He will then have progressively more difficult fights as he moves up the ranks. By the time he reaches the end of the line, the challenger becomes so tired and injured that it will be "easy pickings" for the top student and the instructor if necessary.

2) In case of deadly assault on the school
The second reason is really more militaristic in nature. In case their enemies enter through the door, swords flashing and maybe even guns blazing, the first people to get killed are the beginners. Much like in war, the lower ranks are killed on the front lines, while the officers and generals stay in the back.

In both cases, the beginners are kind of treated like expendable pawns and human shields. The higher ranked students are given the time to defend themselves and/or escape so that they can preserve and pass on their knowledge of their fighting art. Definitely a very old, militaristic, and Japanese way of thinking.

Of course, these kinds of concerns are not as valid anymore, but the traditions have been kept. Except in my school, that is. In our case, the instructor has a bit of a different philosophy on the subject. The highest ranking students have the responsibility of defending the dojo. So WE line up closest to the door.

Meaning that if there's ever any trouble, I'll be the one to get killed first.

Money out of your pocket

2009-06-11T16:53:00.001-04:00

Let's say that you get promoted and get a nice little raise. You will now have a lot more disposable income, right? Well think again.

Go to the link below to see an interesting little calculator from Revenu Québec. It basically calculates how much you'll have left of your annual earned income after the federal and provincial governments have taken their piece of the pie.

http://www.budget.finances.gouv.qc.ca/budget/2009-2010/en/calculette_en.html

Type in your annual income and you'll notice that, all of a sudden, that even with that raise that you got, the increase in your final paycheck is probably pretty negligible. But you're probably going to be working even more hours and have more stress and responsibility.

As a former student who didn't really make that much money, I was initially very much in agreement with increasing taxes as income gets higher. But now, as a working stiff, I find it annoying that a good chunk of what I worked for is being taken from me before it even reaches my pocket.

How to "Spice things up" in the kitchen

2009-05-25T01:10:00.005-04:00

Have you ever wanted to make things "more exciting" in your kitchen? Well, here's something we found in a grocery store that could be a good way to do it.

Maybe I'll send this off to the Fail Blog.

Roma and final thoughts

2009-05-20T06:33:00.000-04:00

Roma is definitely a much bigger city than Firenze. Former capital of the ancient Roman empire and current capital of Italy, there is more to see. Unfortunately, there are also more hordes of tourists being led around by by their multilingual guides holding up a stick/umbrella/flag/coloured paper.

Aside from all that though, we had a great time in Roma. We ended up staying at this small bed and breakfast run by this married couple. It was a different experience for sure. You get the privacy and personalized service that you get from a good hotel, but at the same time, you don

We managed to take in a good amount of the sites like the Via del Corso, the different piazzas, the Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps. As an aside, I really still don't understand what the deal is with these steps.

We were also able to check out most of the Vatican's many museums, Saint Peter's Basilica as well as the ruins of the Roman Forum, the Palatine and of course, the Colosseum. I was a bit disappointed, because I was hoping to see this, but they told us that they weren't showing it there. At least not yet.

Our last day in the city started off with the Castel Sant'Angelo, a former fortress/castle that connects to the Vatican through a secret tunnel. The passageway was built by one of the popes in case of invasion. It's more of a museum now, with a café at the top, but it was still pretty interesting. The end of the day led us to the Pantheon. Formerly a temple to the Roman gods, it was transformed into a church. Apparently, the dome's architecture (which doubled as a sun-dial at the time) is so precise that even modern-day engineers would find it almost impossible to replicate it.

We also finally found the very charming neighbourhood of Trastevere across the river. We found this great little bar that served giant 1 litre mojitos (much like the ones at La Distillerie). We also found a couple of great gelato places and restaurants.

All in all, it was a pretty good trip. Travelling as a couple is definitely a different feel, but still was a good time.

Final thoughts:

-The food in Italy was great both in quality and in quantity. I just wonder though, how most locals don't seem to be fat. I mean, the lunch and dinner meals are served in several courses: appetizer, first plate (usually pasta), second plate (meat or fish), dessert and coffee, and digestive strong alcohol like grappa or limoncello. All this while drinking wine throughout the meal. I don't understand how people in this country aren't fat like North Americans. I know that I've probably gained about 10 lbs, even with almost 8 hours of continuous walking.

-Alcohol-wise, Italy is definitely a wine country. The local beers are crap. France is pretty similar, unless you go to a bar and specifically order Belgian beer.

-Bar/café culture is definitely different in Italy. Most people don't idly sit around in bars and cafés to have long conversations. They instead stand at the counter, take the drink quickly and leave.

-When sitting down to eat somewhere, remember that there's usually a "coperto" or extra cover charge for sitting down. That probably explains the bar/café culture.

-The amount of tourists can get a bit unbearable even if you come to a sight early enough. It really makes it difficult to see what you want or have some quiet time to get a feel for an ancient monument or a work of art. The Sistine Chapel, though still amazing, lost a bit of its "wow factor" with all the tourists crowding in, blabbing away and taking photos while the PA system is telling them not to in five different languages.

-With tourists come the annoyance of "tourist scammers", the most annoying of which is the "lucky bracelet". Guys will come up to you, follow you around and ask you to wear this free, cheap, yarn bracelet for good luck. They'll even drape it on you as you try to walk away.

-The traffic in Italy is insane. There are a lot of cars and most of all Vespas flying around in the streets. And with the really narrow sidewalks, North Americans are well-advised to watch where they're going when walking around.

-Definitely a great practice in all Italian cities is that politicians can only post their campaign posters in designated areas. It's defintely better than in Montreal where every street light, traffic light and sign post is littered with campaign posters whenever there's an election.

-And finally: gelato, gelato, gelato... yum!

Euro-trip 2.0: Firenze, Chianti, San Gimignano

2009-05-15T17:00:00.003-04:00

Firenze really is a pretty small city that can be easily covered on foot in about a couple of days. We were able to take in a few of the main sights in Firenze (including the Accademia, which contains the original David by Michelangelo - the one in the outdoor statuary near the Palazzo Vecchio is a copy). It was a bit of a shock to see motor vehicle traffic after seeing mainly boats in Venezia.

To get away from all the hustle and bustle of the city, we decided to take the hostel-organized tour of the famous Chianti region. It did not disappoint. We went first to a wine tasting lesson given by the charismatic wine maker, signor Pier-Luigi. I am now a wine snob and I will teach what I can remember about wine tasting to whoever wants to learn.

After a few glasses of wine and some "aphrodisiac olive oil" (now there's a good way to cause some awkward situations in a tour bus full of young hostel dwellers), we then went over to a second winery where we learned about the actual process of making white, rose and red wines in the Chianti region. This was of course followed by more wine tasting and a "typical", delicious Tuscan lunch, accompanied by, you guessed it, more wine.

I should mention that I still have a small cut on my left thumb from when I slipped in front of the whole group (and the winery owner) and hit a 1500-litre wine barrel... I guess I got a little excited during the tour.

The day ended with a quick trip to San Gimignano, a small midieval, Tuscan town between Firenze and Siena. Though we didn't have much time to see the town, Maria and I managed to get some gelato from the world champion gelato making shop there. Some of the strange ice cream flavours include gorgonzola and vin santo ("holy wine").

Definitely the highlight of the trip so far... but then again, I haven't talked about Roma yet.

Ciao!

Euro-Trip 2.0: Venizia, Firenze and Other Thoughts

2009-05-11T16:51:00.006-04:00

Coming to you live from Firenze, in the great province of Tuscany!

As we stepped off the train station and into the vaporetto (water bus), the first thought that I had when I saw the city was that it was a really old city. It was old, but not old like wine that has been aged well. It felt more like it was old and worn out. The walls on the buildings looked like they were crumbling or were defaced with ugly graffiti.

Still, the city still has some charm and I can understand why people still think it's romantic.

A bit more of a tourist city (apparently tourists outnumber residents 200 to 1), the it's definitely a change from the fast-pace and heavy motor vehicle traffic of Milan. There is, however, the heavy traffic of tourists, whether you're in a large piazza or a very narrow street.

Of course, it's always easy to avoid the crowds by simply turning onto an empty and very narrow alley and navigating your way through the maze of canals, piazzas, and tiny alleys. It definitely is a great way to see not just the "travel brochure and postcard" parts of the city like Piazza San Marco and the Ponte di Rialto. Of course, we did visit those too.

We also made a point of NOT setting foot in a single church or museum. With the city being the way it is, and the weather being nothing short of amazing, we decided to simply walk somewhat aimlessly and discover the different corners of the city. Stopping only to eat, we managed to cover pretty much all the sestieri that make up Venizia.

We left this morning and made it to Firenze by train this afternoon, although I don't think Maria really wanted to leave just yet... ah well, we'll make sure to come back. As for this city, I'm thinking that we'll be running around to a couple of monuments tomorrow and maybe take a little wine tasting tour of Chianti offered by our hostel on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it all goes.

Some random stuff:

-I thought it might be appropriate to make a comparison between Parisian and Milanese women. Though similarly attractive and well put together, what with all the expensive clothes, make-up and so on, the Parisian variety seems to have a bit more of an attitude. Just as an example, if a Parisian girl bumps into you, she acts kinda annoyed and starts sucking her teeth at you in contempt as she walks away.

-As for the Italian girls, well, I seem to remember this one instance where a particularly well-dressed and fashionable Milanese woman actually apologizing to Maria for bumping into her. Maybe there's something in the water.

-Being in a pretty Catholic country and all, I feel like there is a grave sin that I must confess. While in Italy, amid all the fine cuisine, I walked in and ate at a McDonald's. May I be forgiven.

Ciao!

Euro-trip 2.0: Milano

2009-05-10T08:52:00.005-04:00

In Venice right now. I guess I will have to make this brief since I don t have much time.

Milan was an OK city to visit. It was very modern and business like as expected. A very fast-paced and more consumerist city. Not too much to see in terms of old buildings, except maybe the Duomo, where Maria was refused entry for wearing a skirt that was apparently inappropriately too short.

The shopping would have been very interesting, but I wasnt really interested in haute couture and even if I were, I would not have been able to afford it.

Just as a side note, there are tons of Filipinos in that city for some reason. I have never heard Tagalog spoken so much in any other European city.

Anyway, I will keep everyone posted on our adventures in Venizia, Firenze and Roma.

Ciao!

Euro-trip 2.0: The Louvre and Montmartre Revisited

2009-05-04T17:06:00.004-04:00

I suppose that we were still a bit tired and jet-lagged as we both couldn't get out of our rooms until after 11am today. But anyway, after a mini-brunch of jambon et emmental baguette with a tarte aux fraises, we were off to the Louvre.

Coming back to the Louvre was fun as I got to play the pseudo-art expert tour guide with Maria. I guess I had forgotten from last time, but there was just a whole lot of art in that place. Some people have told me that you need about 4-5 days just to actually see everything in there. We saw as much as we could in about three and a half hours to see mostly paintings and a couple of sculptures. Needless to say that it was overwhelming just to see most of the place.

After a quick lunch of baguette and crepes, we headed off to the Montmartre area. Last year, I've heard a tour guide refer to this place as Paris' "Red Light district". I didn't understand it then because we mainly went through some nice cobble stone streets lined with restaurants, saw the Moulin Rouge and then spent most of our time in Sacre Coeur, a church on top of the hill looking over the city.

Of course, that was last year. This year, I decided that we simply wander around the neighbourhood. There weren't any scantily-clad women in glass windows like in Amsterdam, but there were enough strip-clubs and sex shops in the neighbourhood to rival downtown Montreal.

I guess with an erotic museum and several establishments with names like "Sexodrome" and "Pussy's", it does make sense to call this a red-light district. The best part of course is that above all this is that there's a church right above all this fun stuff.

Dinner and drinks were had to cap off a pretty long day of walking. 11 hours in all.

Tomorrow morning, we are off to Versailles!

Euro-trip 2.0: Going to Paris

2009-05-03T07:28:00.004-04:00

Bonjour de Paris!

After several hours flying across the Atlantic Ocean, Maria and I have finally made it to Paris with a quick stop-over in Zurich.

The flight was smooth and the service impeccable. With complementary mini-bottles of wine available to economy-class customers, Swissair is now officially my favourite airline. As a side note, we got our first souvenir from our trip in the plane as this little 6-year-old Swiss girl sitting in front of us drew our picture sitting in a plane. Basically it's a picture of two stick figures with the same colour shirts as us and heart in between.

Just arriving a couple of hours ago and getting lost just trying to find a metro station (bows head in shame), I do feel like I missed out on a lot when I came here last year. I guess it's a great time to rediscover this city.

Our hotel/hostel is in the Levallois Perret area, though I'm not so sure that it's actually officially part of of Paris. In any case, after taking a quick walk around the neighbourhood after lunch, this is definitely a nice little area to be in. Almost an escape from the bustle and the busloads of Japanese tourists. We even found a nice little open air market where I'll definitely stop by to get some fresh cheese, baguettes, meats and some wine for tomorrow's lunch.

The only downside is that the weather isn't too nice. It's pretty cloudy and kinda cold, but we're hoping that the weather will get better.

As for tonight, we'll try to get access to the room, take a quick nap and then run through a couple of "tourist traps" later tonight.

A+

Habs Eliminated

2009-04-23T09:13:00.004-04:00

So much for the "100 years of glory". So what went wrong? How does a team that wins last year's Eastern Conference title now ends up barely making the playoffs while losing and then proceeds to get swept in the first round of the playoffs? What went wrong?

Well, let's see, you've got injuries, no defense men that can play defense properly, potential scorers who can't handle a pass or the puck in general, inability to score on the power play, bad management / coaching decisions, an inexperienced goalie, off-ice distractions, the team being up for sale, and more injuries. But there was also what seemed to be a certain laziness about their play.

We could argue that the fans were not really being fair with their expectations. Players and coaches have expressed their dislike for being booed by their own team because of their poor performance. This is especially true for goaltenders. Maybe because of past star goalies like Vezina, Plante, Dryden and Roy, fans will put a lot of pressure and sometimes unfair blame on the goalie even if the defense is at fault. Jeers by Habs fans pushed Carey Price to pull a Patrick Roy last night.

But hey, that's Montreal hockey. Fans expect their team to perform. We want our defense to block shots, make hits and not score on their own goal. We want scorers to make plays and actually score. We want the goaltenders to dive for those pucks, make key saves and handle their rebounds.

After all, Montreal is the home of the Canadiens, not the Maple Leafs!

If the expectations were high, well, the blame is on the club not the fans. The Canadiens organization totally hyped up their marketing for the 100th season, even going on to say that the team could be a Stanley Cup contender considering last year's performance. Combine that with the ridiculously high price of a regular season, nosebleed ticket and yeah you will have fans expecting a lot.

There are 11 free agents at the end of the season and an opening for head coach. Change is definitely needed. Here's hoping that season 101 will be better than this one.

How to get a new cellphone by annoying people

2009-04-09T23:16:00.008-04:00

Have you ever been so bored that you just want to look like a total tool in front of a crowded bus? Have you ever wanted people to look at you in annoyance? Or do you just want to get rid of your old mp3 player cellphone so you could get a new one? If you answered yes to any of these questions, here's what you do before leaving your home:

Wear a semi-new baseball cap with the visor on sideways
Wear ridiculously baggy clothes that are about 4 sizes too big for you
Make sure you have a cellphone that can play mp3s
Load crappy songs by current idiot-sounding, no-talent in the mp3 player phone
Songs by rappers like Lil' Wayne, T.I., Chamillionaire or Flo Rida would be perfect

Once all the preps are done, do the following:

Find a bus stop with a long line up during rush hour in the morning or the afternoon
Once on the bus, try to find a seat, preferably in the back
Play the rap songs loaded in your phone
Make sure you don't use your headphones so that the songs play out loud through the crappy quality phone speaker
Turn the volume to the max
As the music is playing bob your head to beat and try to make a "gangsta"-looking face while singing along as loud as you can
Moving your hand to the beat will add to the effect

If you follow these instructions carefully, you will succeed in looking like a total idiot. Who knows? You might piss someone off enough that they'll take your phone and throw it out of the moving bus's window. Now you've got a chance to replace your old phone.

How to make prison less unbearable

2009-03-06T13:51:00.004-05:00

Here's another random thought for my readers. I'm sure that most of you have all heard the stories of what happens to some guys in jail. We've all seen the prison scenes in movies and episodes of Oz. It's even become a bit of a joke and a warning at the same time: "Don't drop the soap."

With the "ideal goal" of prison being the rehabilitation of inmates, having to worry about dropping the soap in the shower is probably not going to help any. So wouldn't it be a good idea to give guys in jail one less worry by eliminating the soap dropping worries?

My solution? Install liquid soap dispensers under each shower head. That way, nobody has to worry about bending down and picking up a bar of soap that can be oh-so-slippery when wet. The only problem that can arise from this is when the soap runs out during a shower and the inmates start fighting over the little that's left.

Just imagine of a bunch of naked guys jumping around and slipping and sliding on top of one another...

Painfully Drunk

2009-01-30T12:53:00.004-05:00

This is probably in the same vein as an old post that I wrote on violent sex a while back. Anyway, has anyone ever noticed that, at least in the English language, many of the phrases used to describe a night of excessive drinking have some kind of painful and even violent connotation? It's almost as if the alcohol gave the drinker a beating.

Consider the following:

"I got wasted last night."
"I got sloshed last night."
"I got trashed last night."
"I got smashed last night."
"I got plastered last night."
"I got hammered last night."
"I got shit-faced last night."

I'm sure there are more, but you get the idea. I guess if you consider the resulting hangover the morning after, it kinda makes sense, but still.

For my multilingual readers out there, do you have other expressions similar to these in your language? Please don't be shy to share!

Angelo's Ingeniously Obvious and Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan

2009-01-23T13:15:00.006-05:00

As many people would have probably done, many of you might have resolved to lose weight and get in better shape in 2009. Heading into the last week of January, I realize that it is a bit late, but I thought I might give my two cents on the matter. I will give you a free guide and I guarantee that you will lose weight and/or lower your body fat percentage within six months. (Results may vary, of course.)

Are you ready for it?

Here's the step-by-step breakdown:

Take the number of times you exercise per week. Now take that number and increase it by a lot of hours.
Take the number of portions of fat and sugar that you consume per week. Now take that number and decrease it by a lot.
Take the number of portions of whole grains, fruits and vegetables that you consume per week. Now take that number and increase it by a lot.

In six months, go to a bathroom mirror or a full-body mirror at home. Take off all your clothes and look at your reflection. If you are still dissatisfied with the amount of weight you lost, repeat the previous steps.

(Yeah, I was bored...)

Obama making history

2009-01-19T10:17:00.005-05:00

In less than 24 hours, the United States will be inaugurating a new president. Barack Obama will be the country's first ever black president. A true historic moment, no doubt about it. There is, however, one thing that makes me uneasy about the whole thing.

If you've been watching the media coverage, when talking about Obama, there have been some comparisons and references to past leaders that I find a bit ominous. With Obama being sworn in, there's talk of his inauguration speech being as important as Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech.

There are also expectations that Obama's administration will be the new "Camelot", referring of course to John F. Kennedy's administration. As a side note, JFK also made history by being the first and only Irish-Catholic American to be elected president.

And yesterday, I saw a quick report on the link between Obama and Abraham Lincoln.

So what do Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln have in common?

I don't wish anything bad to happen to Obama, but I do find this to be a bit ominous. Maybe I'm just being a paranoid conspiracy nut, but considering the large amount of racism that still exists in the USA, it's not totally impossible.

Let's just hope that Obama will be able to make history instead of repeating it.

2008 - Year in Review

2009-01-01T12:05:00.002-05:00

I thought it might be a good idea to keep track of what happened in the past year, I guess just to see what changes need to be made in the upcoming year. I promise not to make it as long and ranting as last year's review. This will just be a quick rundown of the good, the bad and the ugly of 2008.

The Good

Continuing the fun that I had with the exchange students in 2007, I finally got on a plane and went through 6 European cities in a span of two weeks
Though traveling alone was great, I also a couple of fun mini-trips with Maria: Carnaval de Québec during the city's 400th anniversary, Niagara Falls in the summer and NYC right before the fall.
I trained for, ran and eventually finished the Montreal Marathon. The results weren't to my liking, but it just gives me a good idea of what to shoot for in the next marathon
Thanks to the marathon training I was able to, according to Heather, put my "great fitness for the betterment of mankind" by running in my underwear to raise money for cancer research
I participated in the Canadian JKA team selection tournament. I unfortunately didn't make the cut, but like the marathon, I now know what to expect for next time.
Though a bit less intense than last year due to changes in the workplace, I was still able to maintain a decent social life. I was fortunate enough to enjoy the company of many great people throughout the year. You all know who you are.
Finally, I received and accepted a new job offer at IBM. The new job will start in the summer of 2009.

The "Not-as-good" and the Ugly
I am grateful and fortunate enough to say that very little "bad" and "ugly" happened to me this year. There are just a few things that I would like to remedy.

Not having enough time to travel more, especially during the summer
Somewhat neglecting to see other friends
Realizing that I'm slowly getting older and certain priorities are slowly creeping in (not bad in itself, but the feeling of it can be qualified as "growing pains")
For some who may have seen the photos, you might agree that running in my underwear could very easily fall in the "ugly" category

So what's in store for 2009? Well, I suppose more traveling, more personal challenges, making an effort to get back in touch with a lot of people and finding the right balance between work and play.

Happy 2009, everybody!

Marathon 2.0: To run or not to run?

2008-12-27T03:22:00.006-05:00

I've been mulling this over for quite a bit now, but I'm still not sure if I really want to go through this again. I guess I should decide this relatively quickly.

Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Race day: May 24 2009
Amount of time left to train: 22 weeks
Target finish time: 3:30 to 4:00 (I mean it this time!)
Other necessities: new shoes; winter running gear.
Potential training obstacles: re-injuring knee; haven't had a serious run since mid-October; having to run in heavy snow, icy sidewalks and -20 degree weather for at least 3 months (and no, I have no plans on running on a treadmill)

To run or not to run? That is the question.

What do you guys think?